Monday, March 3, 2008
"The Honeymooners (Classic 39)" was, is, and always will be The Greatest TV Comedy of All Time. I became a Honeymooners fan around age 10. By 14, I was racing to the magazine store to pick up the TV Guide, to see which 7 of the Classic 39 they would be showing at 11pm every night for the next week.. I even attended the R.A.L.P.H. Convention (The Royal Association for the Longevity and Preservation of the Honeymooners) at C.W. Post on 3/10/84... I think Rita Weidermeier was at that one, but that's another story... When I was growing up, I always loved the way TV Guide would describe these hilariously funny shows with as few words as possible. I started collecting these descriptions until I had a complete set of 39, which I will now share with you.. Can anyone relate to any of this or does someone think someone has way too much time on their hands?... Anyway, it's time to present to you.. The TV Guide Descriptions of The Honeymooners Classic 39 (not to be confused with the Lost Episodes which suck)..
1. Alice and Trixie go to the Racoons' convention.
2. A peek at the future spells trouble for Ralph.
3. Ralph's business trip is anything but restful, with sleepwalker Norton taking his nightly strolls.
4. Ralph gets into a tangle with a wiseacre.
5. Stagestruck Ralph appears in an amateur production.
6 "The Golfer" is Ralph. His teacher: Norton.
7. Ralph and Norton purchase a TV set.
8. Never put it in writing - or on tape - Ralph learns when he records an apology to Alice.
9. Ralph glides into trouble at the roller-skating rink.
10. Ralph tries to accept the fact that he's not a born executive.
11. A dance teacher moves into Ralph's building.
12. It's aches and pains for Ralph as he struggles to get in shape for the bus-company physical.
13. The Kramden's building has a new janitor: Ralph.
14. Ralph and Norton appear on a TV show.
15. Ralph and Norton go into business.
16. Ralph is torn between fear and civic duty when he witnesses a bank robbery.
17. Temptation beckons when Ralph finds a suitcase filled with money.
18. Ralph and Norton masquerade as men from outer space.
19. Answer-man Ralph becomes a contestant on a quiz show.
20. Dial T for trouble: Ralph overhears a phone conversation.
21. Alice takes an office job.
22. Alice tries to surprise Ralph by redecorating the apartment.
23. The Christmas spirit takes a beating when the Nortons join the Kramdens for the holidays.
24. It's the doghouse for Ralph when Alice gets a puppy.
25. Ralph tries to reaffirm his position as head of the house.
26. The Kramdens and the Norton's visit a bus-comapny executive.
27. Ralph cues his boss in on pool.
28. Ralph refuses to pay a rent increase
29. The honeymoon is almost over before it begins when Ralph gives advice to a prospective bridegroom.
30. Ralph enters politics.
31. Ralph thinks he is to be named Raccoon of the Year.
32. The "Young Man with a Horn" is Ralph, who found an old cornet.
33. Accidents will happen, especially to Ralph - who's about to receive a safety award.
34. Norton tries to win a promotion.
35. Ralph exaggerates his importance at the bus company.
36. Ralph's in a dither: his mother-in-law is coming.
37. Togetherness is the password as Alice and Trixie try to share their husbands interests.
38. Ralph's worried: the internal revenue service has sent him a summons.
39. A misadventure strains Ralph and Norton's friendship.